


Hiraeth // Grey’s Anatomy

by orphan_account



Category: Grey's Anatomy
Genre: Angst, Broken, Dead Derek, Derek is dead, F/M, Grey's Anatomy - Freeform, MerDer, Poor Meredith, Sad, Where's Derek, dream - Freeform, i miss them, relationship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-02
Updated: 2017-08-02
Packaged: 2018-12-10 07:18:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,056
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11686743
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: (n) a homesickness for a home you can’t return to, or that never was.His arms wrapped around me like a serpent, twisting my metal images until all I could see was him; and for a split second, I almost believed he was Derek.A MerDer Fanfiction. Angst, moving on. Two chapters.





	Hiraeth // Grey’s Anatomy

The man slid me a shot glass filled with the familiar golden liquid that seemed catch my seeked attention. I wrapped my bony fingers around the cold glass as I picked it up, raising my eyebrows to the man who had bought me it. I tossed my head back and drank the whole shot unfazed; not even caring to scrunch my face in disgust at the smooth burn slipped down my throat. I pushed the empty glass shot back towards Joe, who took the glass away. 

I turned to look at the surly man next to me. He, though was sitting, looked quite tall. 6’3, maybe? His hair was a mess of brown curls that drapped into his face. Speaking of that, it was a tanned brown with freckles covering it, matching his green eyes that seemed to watch my every move. He seemed pretty lanky, but overall had more attractive features than not.

The determined look on his face with a overconfident undertone had me rolling my eyes before the first word escaped his lips. He opened his mouth to speak, his lip curling to a slight smirk which made me wonder if I should even waste my time.

“So, tequila? It seems to be the only thing you drink here,” he said, looking at me like I was some kind of dish to be taken. I chuckled slightly, wrapping my fingers around the new shot Joe had placed in front of me. I took my time responding, fiddling with the filled glass on the bar counter.

“So you’ve been watching me?” I responded, slight aggression slipping into my voice as the words pushed past my lips. The man seemed intimidated, but pushed on, no doubt due to the liquid courage he had previously downed.

“Would it be wrong if I said yes?” He said, clearing his throat. I rolled my eyes at him, picking up my shot and downing it again, reactionless. He sighed, knowing he was losing it.

“Do you know how intimidating you are?” He asked quietly. I turned to him, furrowing my brows as Joe bought another shot to me.

“I’m not intimidating. You’re just an easy scare,” I growled, wrapping my fingers around the glass once more. The man’s face flashed with hurt. He swallowed hard, opening his mouth to speak again. Any form of confidence had rolled off him. Before he could speak, I was slamming the empty shot glass on the counter and hopping off my barstool. He shut his mouth and ducked his head with a bruised ego.

I looked over my shoulder at the man. I scoffed at his poor attempt to pick me up. I walked out the bar, knowing Joe had already called me a cab. I slid into the cab, telling him my address and swiftly arriving home in record time. In this slightly intoxicated state, I paid the cabbie and stepped out, walking to my home. The kids were at Arizona’s, a sleepover. I made my way to my bedroom, only tripping twice. I shut the door behind me, dropping my bag and pulling off my jacket before sinking into my bed.

I rolled over to Derek’s side, smelling the pillow which still carried the scent of him due to my endless spraying of his cologne on his pillow to best preserve it. Sometimes I’d wash my hair with the same products he would use just so I had some physical piece of him. 

I felt a warm tear slipping down my face. Without warning, tears streamed down my face. Why was I crying? 

I felt my hands roam the bed, searching for him. I knew he was gone, but I couldn’t stop myself from looking. I shut my eyes hard, hoping I’d drift away in some kind of sleep. I was hoping I’d either wake up with him next to me, or I wouldn’t at all. 

I must’ve fallen asleep, because the streaming light of the window betrayed my eyes as I rolled out of bed. There was a knock at the door, and I suddenly realized that Arizona was bringing the kids back around this time. I ran down the stairs, combing my hair with my fingers in an attempt to look presentable. The whole house glowed with the golden light of the morning. I somehow got my hair to look somewhat appropriate, and I was out of breath when I swung open the door.

That’s when my heart cripples.

Derek. He’s looking at me, smiling softly and sad. My breath hitches as I reach out to feel him.

Real.

“I forgot my keys,” he spoke. He pulls me into a hug, holding me harder than anyone ever has. I felt the tears streaming down my face until they turned into nasty sobs. I shook violently as I actually felt him. He was here, he was home.

“I’m sorry Meredith,” he whispers in my ears. “I’m sorry I’ve been gone this long,” he mutters. I’m wrapping my arms around his torso, running his shirt with my tears. I look up, staring into his genuinely sorry face. My lips were on his, and he kissed me back. 

Something was wrong, because in the next moment, the imagine of Derek fell away until he appeared. We were back at the hospital, he was asleep. The peaceful beeping of the machines were anything but. They left me unsettled and hurt, my husband laying down on the bed tied to machines and with tubes down his throat. I couldn’t watch. I spun around, facing away from him until the image of the hospital faded alongside the beeping of the machines.

When I opened my eyes, Derek was wrapping his arms around me, like he used to. We were in my bedroom, and he had that lovesick look in his eyes as he looked at me, making me smile. It was short lived, though. His arms wrapped around me like a serpent, twisting my metal images until all I could see was him; and for a split second, I almost believed he was Derek.

I woke in a cold sweat. I turned over to look at my alarm clock, displaying the ripe time of four AM. I shook violently for a second before trying and failing to sleep again.

I wish I could be home.


End file.
